Chapter 38

"Disappointed"

Na Ri rested her chin on the palm of her hand, and she looked out of the window, where the world moved past her at the speed of light. The same way she felt her life was moving past her these days; at a speed where she was unable to catch up. 

"We arrive at Daejeon station in 5 minutes."

Na Ri looked up when she heard the announcement from the speakers and she started gathering the few things she had with her, getting ready to leave. 

She put on her coat and buttoned it all the way up. The she wrapped her scarf around her neck before she got up from her seat and stepped out of the train.

The temperature was below 0 degrees and even with large boots on and warm clothes, the cold still managed to find its way through the thick fabric, and made sure Na Ri, little by little, started freezing. 

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and she took off one of her gloves to unlock the screen.

Na Ri just put her phone back in her pocket and put on her glove again. He must've found her note saying she would go to Daejeon and be home in the evening.

As she walked down the street, she realized it would be a good idea to type in her dad's address on her phone, to make sure she wouldn't get lost. 

1 hour by foot? Na Ri thought to herself, in panic, when she looked at the route her phone had found for her. 

Na Ri looked around and saw a bus stop, which she quickly walked up to. She looked at the different bus routes described on the board and found one which would bring her as close to the address as possible. So Na Ri sat down on the bench and tried hard to keep her body warm while waiting for the bus to arrive.

Suddenly, Na Ri felt her phone vibrate again, but this time it was a more consistent vibration, indicating she was getting a call.

She looked at the caller ID without doing anything. She could neither answer the call, nor decline it. All she did was stare at Min Ji's name until it stopped ringing and Na Ri then put her phone back in her pocket.

Life would just have to wait, Na Ri thought as she leaned back on the bench.

Finally the bus arrived and Na Ri greeted the bus driver before finding an empty seat at the back of the bus. 

She looked out of the window, out on the street covered in sparkling white snow, but she was unable to enjoy the sight in front of her. Her mind was blank and at the same time it was filled to its max. She couldn't focus on anything, everything before her eyes were blurry and her body felt numb.

The robotic female voice talking over the speakers, notified the passengers whenever they reached a new station, and Na Ri listened almost subconsciously. The second her designated station was called out, Na Ri got up from her seat, like a zombie simply following its instincts, and walked out of the bus.

The street Na Ri stepped out into was cozy and peaceful. There weren't any large buildings close by and the people walking around didn't seem to be in a rush. The houses weren't grand, but at the same time Na Ri had a hunch they weren't the cheapest houses. It seemed like one of those areas where those perfect families lived their perfect lives in their perfect little houses.

Na Ri took out her phone and looked at the address once again. She then looked around until she saw the designated street she was looking for.

With heavy steps, Na Ri moved towards the street and walked down on it while looking at the numbers on the houses. She stopped in front of a big yellow brick house with a black roof and a big garden. She couldn't see much of it as it was hidden behind the tall bushes and Na Ri carefully took a step closer, trying to get a better look. 

Her eyes then fell on mailbox and she read the four names visible on it, starting with "Song Kwan Soo", her father's name.

She suddenly felt her body starting to shake, and this time it wasn't because of the cold. She took a step back, almost stumbling on her own two feet and falling down in the process. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't even decide whether to continue on or to run away. She was frozen and unable to move her feet, while she just stared at the mailbox in front of her.

She was brought out of her state of panic, and back to reality, when she felt her phone vibrate again. She quickly reached for it and was about to shut it off, when she saw Min Ji's name on the screen again. Just like before, she stared at the name with the pink heart emoji next to it, and she held her breath until it stopped ringing. 

But just as she was about to put her phone away, Min Ji's name appeared on the screen again. It just kept ringing and ringing and ringing, like it was going to continue into eternity, and in the end, Na Ri swiped right and put her phone against her ear.

"Na Ri-ya?" Min Ji said with a slightly worried voice.

"Yes," Na Ri replied.

"Are you okay, you didn't answer any of my calls or my messages," Min Ji said and waited for a while until she continued, "did something happen? Where are you?"

"In Daejeon."

"Daejeon? What are you doing there?" Min Ji asked, "Na Ri-ya, what's going on?" Na Ri stayed silent and held her breath, hoping it was enough to hold back her tears, but in the end she had to let go and Min Ji heard the silent sniffles through the phone. 

For a while Min Ji didn't say anything, neither did Na Ri, but she continued to hold her phone against her ear while crying silently, not even worrying about the neighbors and people walking around outside.

"Na Ri-ya," Min Ji then said, "do you want me to come?" Na Ri immediately stopped crying.

"What?" she said.

"I don't know what's going on, but I really don't want you to be alone when you're feeling like this," Min Ji said, "I think I can be in Daejeon in a little over an hour if I take the train."

"No," Na Ri said with a stuffy nose, making it hard to speak clearly, "I just... it's something I have to alone..."

"Can I ask what it is?" Min Ji said gently.

"Later," Na Ri said, "I promise... I'll explain everything later... I will call you on my way back to Daegu."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?"

"Yes," Na Ri said, "but... if we could talk for a few minutes... I'd like that."

"Sure, of course we can," Min Ji said, "what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know... just... tell me about you and Taehyung-ssi... tell me about Jungkook and how you're all doing..."

"Okay, I will," Min Ji said and started talking, the words flowing like a river with no sign of her stopping anytime soon. She didn't allow Na Ri to have even one second where she could think about the things which were making her sad, Min Ji was determined to cheer her up, and somehow, she did.

When Na Ri was getting ready to hang up, Min Ji made her promise one more time that she'd call as soon as she was done with whatever she was up to. And Na Ri promised to do so; at this point she was sure Min Ji would actually show up otherwise.

After hanging up, Na Ri put her phone back in her pocket, took in a deep breath and then walked up to the house. 

There was a small gate to the garden, where a path of cobbles lead the way to the main door. Her body felt stiff, but she still managed to force her hand to place one loud knock on the door. And then everything fell quiet. Not a single sound made it to Na Ri as she focused all her energy on listening to the door.

"Coming," Na Ri heard a female voice speak and she suddenly felt her heart jump up in her throat. And when the door opened and a beautiful middle aged woman appeared, Na Ri felt like passing out. It hadn't even occurred to her that someone besides her dad would come to the door, and she was a loss for words.

"Yes?" the woman said after a while of silence between them, "can I help you?"

"Y... yes..." Na Ri stuttered while looking at the ground, "I was just... wondering if Song Kwan Soo-ssi lives here..." Na Ri finally looked up and into the eyes of a very confused woman.

"He does," she said, a little suspicious, "how do you know my husband?"

"I... he..." Na Ri stuttered again and she swallowed before continuing with a white lie, "we used to know each other... I needed to ask him something but... I lost his number."

"Is that so?" the woman asked with a raised eyebrow and Na Ri nodded, "alright then, wait here, I'll go get him." Na Ri nodded and patiently waited as the lady went back into the house and started calling out to her husband. Na Ri couldn't distinguish the words spoken, but she could definitely hear two different voices and after a while, she could hear footsteps nearing the door, making her hold her breath in anticipation.

"Yes?" a tall man said as he appeared in the door and Na Ri looked up at him, "you asked for me?"

"Are you... Song Kwan Soo?" Na Ri asked slowly, having a hard time getting the words out as her throat had long ago twisted itself into a knot. 

"I am," Kwan Soo said and pushed his glasses a bit further up on his nose, "and you are?" Na Ri turned silent as she couldn't do anything except stare at the man in front of her. His tall figure, gentle eyes and deep voice all seemed so familiar to her, and at the same time so foreign. The hair Na Ri remembered to be a dark brown, now had strains of grey in it and it seemed thinner too. His beard was thicker on the other side and had strains of grey visible in it as well. The years had left its mark on his skin and he looked tired.

"Miss..." Kwan Soo said when Na Ri hadn't spoken a single word for several minutes and Na Ri finally seemed to regain her senses.

"I'm sorry for my manners," Na Ri quickly said and bowed politely, "I think we used to know each other... around... 12 years ago."

"12 years ago? That's a long time..." Kwan Soo said and looked into the distance while thinking, "at that time I must've still been married to my first wife." As if a lightening hit him, Kwan Soo looked at Na Ri again and suddenly realized why she looked so familiar. The dark brown eyes, almost hidden behind her round glasses, looking like they were hiding some kind of secret, determined to never let anybody inside. Her tall and well-build figure, showing she was a strong, independent woman who knew how to take care of herself. It felt like looking into the past, the ghost of his former wife now standing in front of him, determined to make him pay for his sins.

"Song... Na Ri-ssi?" Kwan Soo asked and Na Ri took a deep breath, hoping it would push her tears back in. She was certain even saying a single word would make her break down, so all she managed to do was nod her head slightly.

No one said anything for a while and in the end Na Ri looked up to see her father looking down while scratching his neck.

"You're not... happy to see me..." Na Ri said and Kwan Soo looked up.

"Of course I am..." Kwan Soo said but his tone and stuttering voice was enough of a response to Na Ri, "but... Na Ri-ssi... why are you here?"

"I'm... your daughter..." Na Ri said, anger slowly filling up her body.

"Yes... yes I know... but still... there must be a reason for you to seek me out all of a sudden," Kwan Soo said, "when Woo Jin contacted me a few years ago I thought you would do the same, but you never did."

"I didn't know..." Na Ri whispered and Kwan Soo looked at her in confusion.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," Na Ri quickly said and took a step back, feeling uncomfortable in his presence.

"So..." Kwan Soo said after a little while, "what have you been up to?"

"I'm in... University..."

"Really? What's your major?"

"English Literature," Na Ri answered and suddenly felt the words pushing on inside her and she looked directly into Kwan Soo's eyes as she said, "actually... I'm the top student in my entire department. I... I have worked really hard... And when summer vacation is over... I'll be done with my bachelor."

"Really?" Kwan Soo said with a smile, "that's great, I'm proud of you." The words echoed in Na Ri's mind for long and she felt her head starting to hurt. Before her tears would start streaming, Na Ri pulled out her phone and went into her contacts. After finding her dad's number, she shoved her phone in Kwan Soo's face, giving him a big surprise.

"What-"

"Is this your number?" Kwan Soo looked at the phone and then looked back at Na Ri.

"This is my old number," Kwan Soo said, "the night I... left your mom... it seems I forgot my phone. In the end I decided to just buy a new phone and get a new number." Na Ri lowered her head while slowly retracting her arm.

"So that's how it is..."

"Why do you ask-"

"Why did you never try to contact us?" Na Ri asked, interrupting Kwan Soo once again, "Woo Jin-a and I?"

"I did!" Kwan Soo quickly exclaimed, "in the beginning I wanted to keep in touch with you, but your mom wouldn't let me. I know it's a bad excuse but I really did try. But Hye Jin-a said the divorce was too hard on you kids, she wanted me to stay away."

"But what about when we got older?" Na Ri asked, not letting Kwan Soo get away that easy.

"Well... after a couple of years... I got married again," Kwan Soo said, "we had a kid and... I had to focus all my energy on my new family. I thought it would be better to keep things separate. My life in the past... and my life in the present." Na Ri looked at Kwan Soo and suddenly felt all her emotions tip over her like a waterfall and when she finally let out her tears, it wasn't a silent cry, but rather a loud, ugly cry, one people were able to hear miles away.

"Na Ri-ssi... what's wrong?" Kwan Soo asked as he started to panic, "please don't cry... please calm down."

"No, you don't get to tell me what to do!" Na Ri yelled while the tears kept coming, "you have no idea what kind of life I've been living! All these years I worked so hard... I worked so hard, just for you... just so I could make you proud."

"But you did!" Kwan Soo exclaimed, "I am very proud of you, you grew into such a fine young lady, the top student in her University, how can I not be proud of you." Na Ri calmed down a little and wiped her nose with her arm.

"You might say that..." Na Ri said, "but if I asked you what your new number is... would you give it to me?" Kwan Soo turned silent and looked at the ground again.

"As I said before..." Kwan Soo said silently, "I think it's better for me to keep things separate..."

"That's what I thought," Na Ri said, "it really has all been for nothing." Na Ri turned around and started walking towards the gate to the house and before she opened it, she turned around and took one last look at her dad.

"Goodbye," Na Ri said before getting off his property, walking straight ahead without looking back.

As she neared the train station, Na Ri took out her phone and with the tears still falling, she went into her dad's contact and typed a message. She took a look at it and after internally counting to three, she pressed sent.  

☾ ACT 2 END ☾

Hello everyone!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, which marked the ending of Act 2, meaning we will now enter the 3rd and final act of the story. Are you excited? Let me know in the comments down below.

Remember to stay safe and take care of yourself.

Love, Annalise~