8 years
No it's true
I just re counted
1-2-3-4-5-6-7
8
8 years has gone by
8 years since my anxiety began
8 years since I first went to a psychologist
8 years since I spoke to the courthouse
8 years since I went to the police station
I've forgotten a lot of things in 8 years
What I wore on my first day in 6th grade
What my first grade was in math
What I ate for dinner, just last week
Little by little your brain throw out the unnecessary things
The memories of my elementary school becomes fragments
The faces of my teachers is blurred out in my memory
And even their voices seem distant to me
But even still
I will never forget when I saw the insanity in your eyes
I remember lots of things from that day
I remember I was wearing my rainbow colored pantsuit
I remember I was wearing sock that didn't even match
I remember I had stayed home from school because I was afraid
Of you
I remember I just had to make a copy in my stepmom's office
I remember we both saw you outside our house
And I remember that at that moment
My heart had already started racing
We didn't open the door for you
But that didn't make any difference
You just went around the house
And broke in the back door
IT'S ENOUGH
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME
That's what you yelled right before you grabbed me
And tried to drag me away
Do you remember how much I screamed?
How much I fought to break free from your arms?
I remember
Do you remember how my stepmom tried to calm you down?
Du you remember how the dogs were barking next door?
I remember all of it
I hit
I kicked
I screamed from the full capacity of my lungs
And for a while it looked like I was winning
But that was until you called HIM
He was taller than you, stronger than you
And he went straight up to me and grabbed me
I screamed and screamed, begging for help
I extended my arm towards me step mom
While using the other hand to hold on to the bookshelf
So i wouldn't get dragged away
But she didn't do anything
She only stepped further away with horror written on her face
And she just focused on getting in touch with someone on the phone
Why didn't she do anything?
Today I know why she didn't do anything
Why she didn't interfere
But at that time, I was scared to death
And I needed help
He dragged me through the garden
Until he bot tired of me screaming and struggling
So he picked me up
And cared me with him
I saw how all the neighbors were watching
And I screamed even louder in a plead for help
But I was still thrown in the car
The car were my 6 year old brother was sitting
Tears still glistering in his eyes
He looked terrified
But so did I, cause I was terrified
And I couldn't do anything to help him or comfort him
So even if the brain threw out some things
There are things I will never forget
Even if people don't understand how it still affects me
It does
Even 8 years later
I can recall this episode
And relive it all over again
Please leave a comment down below and let me know your thoughts on this poem!
Love, Annalise~