The Journey

Yes it really is over now! There'll be no more extra chapters or side stories. The only thing left is me rambling on about how this story came to be, explain the plot, the characters and answer all your questions, so if this doesn't interest you, then you can simply skip through it.

Below you can read the answers to some of the questions asked by my readers, along with some things I wanted to talk about myself. Enjoy!

What inspired you to write this story/What inspired you to write about a teacher-student relationship?

To be honest I almost can't remember at this point. My idea for The Perfect Student was a lot more vague than when I had the idea for A Lost Voice. I think this story was more based on some different themes I wanted to explore and some things I really wanted to convey through my writing.

To understand where this idea comes from, we have to look closer at me and my personal story. I've struggled with anxiety, depression and I'm a huge perfectionist. This also means I was really good in school. I always got good grades and if I got a low score, I would sometimes have a panic attack because I felt so disappointed in myself. My teachers always told me I should pursue a higher education and for many years that's what I planned on doing. But when I was around 14 I realized this wasn't my dream. It was the dream of my teachers and my mother. So I decided to take another path, learn a trade. I can't count how many times people have told me I'm making the wrong decision, I'm wasting my skills, I'm ruining my life. I can't count how many times I've been called "Little Miss Perfect" or "Little Miss A+". I hated group projects in school, but I remember my dad told me it was selfish if I always worked alone, it showed I didn't care about my other classmates.

By now you can probably see a connection from my personal story to The Perfect Student and it is probably also the most personal story I've ever written. And as I've felt Na Ri growing throughout the story, I've felt myself grow too.

So I had the theme in mind. I knew it had to be about a University student with mental health issues, someone who had no friends and was very introverted. And I immediately knew Namjoon had to be the male main character, because he's very intelligent, caring and wise. 

I choose the teacher-student relationship because I love it. I love writing about relationships that's a bit controversial, and teacher-student is my favorite! But most of the times when I read or watch something with it, I can tell it's mostly about romance. About the flirting, the desire they have for each other and how "wrong it is". And I just really didn't want my story to be like this. I wanted it to be more than that. I wanted it to be a "give-and-take", where Na Ri actually learns something from Namjoon and the other way around too. And as I was thinking about all this, I thought "how can I get them to spend more time together outside of school?" and suddenly the idea popped into my head: "what if they were neighbors?".

Oh my that was a long explanation... I hope it was worth reading all of that!

More information about Na Ri and Min Ji

Na Ri: Na Ri is a character I can see a lot of myself in, obviously. But mostly, she's the type of person I'm certain I would've turned out to be if I never got any help, if I never stood up for myself, if I took a higher education without knowing how to work around my mental health. She's like a shadow from the future that could've been, as a reminder to myself that I made the right choice.

Na Ri is... a very selfish person a lot of the time. She's frustrating. She's in denial about her emotions, about the fact that she needs help. But with her character and her character development, I wanted to show that this is all because of her illnesses, that's not how she is as a person. Because underneath all of that, Na Ri is caring. Once she got closer to Min Ji and the rest, she felt lonely without them. She worried about them and wanted them to be happy, but her perfectionistic self still overshadowed a lot and made her unable to be there for them as much as she wanted. 

All it takes is for one person to look past all of that and see what she is underneath. What she could become with a little help, a little push on the way. Namjoon saw past it, but more than anyone else, so did Min Ji.

Min Ji: Min Ji is probably the character I mirror myself in the most. As someone who's struggled with her mental health in the past, has gotten help and moved on, she can't help but spot Na Ri from miles away. She is able to see past her rough shell, because she's been in her place and seeing Na Ri struggle, makes her want to help, because she can relate to her feelings.

She understands that Na Ri is in a place right now where she can't see other people than herself, she'll act selfish and appear closed off, but Min Ji still believes that there's more beneath all that, if she just gets a little help and someone to be there for her. And Na Ri's friendship with Min Ji is one of the biggest factors for her to get better. Isolating yourself is not good when you're struggling with the things Na Ri is. Your mind is your worst enemy and when you're alone, you're giving it all the power.

One specific reader wanted to know more about Min Ji's past. She does talk about it in the beginning of the book, but I understand if you've forgotten along the way so I'll give you a timeline:

Min Ji's brother got cancer when he was 6 years old, he got better, but then the cancer returned when he was 13 and shortly after, he died. Min Ji and Min Ho were twins, they did everything together and they talked about everything, so when he died, Min Ji's world crashed. She explains herself in chapter 10, that she kept all her emotions to herself and never allowed herself to probably grieve, so one day it just got too much and she went into depression. So her parents convinced her to talk to a psychologist and Min Ji explains that this is what helped her get better.

Even though Min Ji is better and doing well when we meet her in this story, the things that happened in the past will always remain at the back of her head and because of that, she's quickly able to spot Na Ri and empathize with her. 

And Na Ri can feel this too. She can tell Min Ji truly understands her, different from Namjoon who wants to help her, but can't understand and Taehyung who doesn't understand and simply distance himself from her.

This fits well with the question: 

How did the trio befriend each other and why was Taehyung so judgemental towards Na Ri?

Well Jungkook and Min Ji are childhood friends, you already knew that. And Jungkook and Taehyung are in the same Department in University. They were assigned to the same dorm room as freshmen, so they quickly became good friends and soon after, Jungkook introduced Min Ji to Taehyung.

Now about Taehyung. Taehyung is a symbol of every person I've ever met who is incapable of understanding what it means to struggle with mental health issues. It's not that Taehyung is a bad person, but he hasn't dealt with these things before in his life. Jungkook was by Min Ji's side when she was at her worst, so he's seen what it does to a person, but Taehyung has never felt this on his body. So all he can see is the outer things. How Na Ri is selfish, frustration, self-centered and definitely not someone he would befriend because she would be "too much trouble". 

Luckily, Taehyung learns to understand Na Ri a little better throughout the story and he does care about her a lot, but this still doesn't mean he understands her to the fullest. He doesn't understand how hurtful and pressuring it can be to refer to Na Ri as "the top student", just like my classmates didn't understand how much it hurt me when they referred to me as "Little Miss Perfect". But Taehyung is trying to understand and that's what's the most important.

Now for some more questions which will be answered a bit quicker than the ones above:

How did Namjoon meet Seokjin?

I seriously never thought about that... Maybe the were classmates in High School, but went to different Universities, but still stayed in touch. What do you think?

When did Namjoon realize his feelings for Na Ri?

Another hard question, I mean when did I realize my feelings for my husband? Was it the first time I looked into his light-blue eyes? Or was it after we texted each other for an entire day, learning everything about each other? It's hard to pinpoint...

But I think the time Namjoon started feeling his heart beat a little faster around Na Ri, was the night she stayed at his apartment and they watched FRIENDS together. Seeing her loosen up, smile and even silently laugh must've made his heart skip a beat.

What made Namjoon get the urge to confess on the day of his concert?

Well... it was probably most of all because he was drunk. Also he was emotional after being with his ex-girlfriend after such a long time and it probably made him realize he never wanted to get back together with her again, because his heart was already getting attached to someone else.

Then, seeing Na Ri get jealous, it was too much for Namjoon, she was too cute in his eyes and also; like you readers, he was probably sick of Na Ri not being true to her feelings, so he thought a kiss might wake her up (a drunken impulse).

How does Na Ri and Namjoon's relationship work out? What does their future look like?

Like any hopeless romantic I believe that love can last a lifetime and I believe Na Ri and Namjoon's love for each other will do just that. Na Ri will always have things to struggle with, but since she's getting the proper help and is aware of the things to be careful of, so she won't stress herself out, her life will get a lot easier. Like me, she'll probably see a psychologist on-off, depending on how she's doing. Stressful times in her life may require her to seek professional help, but now that she has, not only friends to rely on, but also a boyfriend, she'll also feel better just by talking about how she feels.

Does she move into Namjoon's apartment?

Not before they're married. I don't believe in living together before marriage, so my characters aren't allowed to do it either lol.

How does Namjoon's parents react when they first meet?

They'll be like most parents. Awkward, asking too many questions, intimidating Na Ri, but also making her feel welcome. Namjoon's father will probably be the most intimidating, since Namjoon's mother is just happy he's found a girl whom he wants to be with.

How many kids do they end up with?

Man, I can't even picture Na Ri as a mother... so I have no idea! Maybe they won't have children? (preparing to be killed by my readers)

Does Cat and Monie get along?

Lol what are these questions? If they start sharing a house they'll probably learn to get along, but I'm sure they'll despise each other at first. All pets needs to adapt to each other if they haven't lived together before and are adult pets.

How is Na Ri's mom feeling right now?

Well how do you think she's feeling? She's learned the true meaning of "You reap what you sow," and she can see what consequences her lies have had to her child. I believe you can also tell how she's feeling through the way she's acting in the epilogue. She's very careful of not putting pressure on Na Ri about choosing her path in life, so that's definitely a big change from the past.

What does Na Ri decide to do after her last semester?

Ehhhhhh... I'm not sure because I don't imagine things I'm not planning on writing. But I actually did think that she'd choose to be a kindergarten teacher like Soo Ri, I even thought about some way to incorporate it in the story but I couldn't. Anyways, what kind of job do you think would be good for Na Ri? I'm curious.

What happens to her relationship with her mom and brother?

It'll get better. The problem of their relationship has been lack of communication and now that they've opened up to each other, they can start getting closer and closer. 

It'll take time for Na Ri to open up to her mother again and trust her, but she'll learn to forgive her and they'll probably get closer than ever before, because her lies made it impossible for them to get closer in the past. That's what lies do, they break families apart.

How does Min Ji and Taehyung's relationship work out and who gets married first, them or Namjoon and Na Ri?

Well as I said before, I'm a hopeless romantic and I believe Taehyung and Min Ji will stay together for the rest of their lives.

Namjoon and Na Ri will probably get married first since he's almost thirty, so he probably doesn't want to wait long and his parents will push as well. This was also made clear in the epilogue so you might not be so surprised.

Will they be married in the epilogue with kids or will it be the wedding?

Well the epilogue is out so you all know that the answer to this questions is: neither!

But I wanted to incorporate it because I want to share something with you all. I will probably never write an epilogue that describes my main characters' wedding or their life in 10 years from now, showing their kids and what they're up to. I can't write this, I'll die. I'll just pass out and die and then I'll never be able to write again, that's not what you want right?

Okay I'm being overly dramatic. But in all seriousness, I can't write something I find boring. And quite frankly I would find it incredibly boring to write about my main character's life in the future. It might be fun to read, but to write... no no no! I'd much rather write something else. So I hope you all liked the epilogue even though it wasn't about any of the things above.

Phew!

That was a lot! Comment if you read it all, you deserve a medal or some candy, because that was A LOT!!! Sorry if it was boring. But again, thank you for sticking with me throughout this entire journey! I can't wait to start the next one with you all!

Love, Annalise~