The Journey

Hello everyone!

I just want to talk a little bit about how this story came to life and how things evolved along the way.

If this doesn't interest you at all then you can simply skip it. This is just me trying to reflect on the journey of this book and what I have learned from it. But if you are interested then get settled cause this will probably be a bit long...

The idea

Like every other book I have written, the idea comes to me through a small scene that appears in my mind. In this case it was the scene of Ha Na and Jimin walking down the street and bumping into each other (the first chapter of the book). The idea that she is deaf probably developed because I know a lot of deaf people and know how to speak sign language. I have seen how a lot of deaf people are treated by hearing people and how they struggle with their daily life. So the idea of a story about a young girl who is deaf was something that intrigued me a lot.

I actually got this idea when I wasn't even more than a few chapters into "Love Her" (the first fan-fiction I wrote on Wattpad, not published here) and I actually wrote the first chapter at that time. But I came to realize that I wouldn't be able to juggle two books at the time. I want to be able to get emerged in my story and I want to get to know my characters.

So when I was done with "Love Her" I went back to look at the first chapter and... I deleted the entire thing. Since my vocabulary and writing style had been improving a lot through "Love Her" I had to start from scratch.

I probably edited the first chapter so many times because in my head, the first chapter is the most important as it will determine if the reader will drop the book or continue. 

Characters

Before I even start writing the story, I write down a few lines about every important character. I usually use a character sheet I have found on the internet, and then I alter it to fit with my story, so it contains the information I think is important.

I want to talk a bit about some of the important characters in my book and how they changed throughout the story.

Ha Na - the cinnamon roll

Believe it or not but Ha Na actually turned out very different than my initial plan. She was supposed to be fragile, shy, introverted and a bit scared to approach people. But when I started writing I realized she wasn't this way at all. She just never had the chance to get more friends because of her overprotective parents.

The prologue talks about how Ha Na is behind a wall. The wall of her disability. Because she is deaf, she can't approach people easily, it is the people around her that has to put in an effort to learn HER language, because no matter if she wanted to, she can't learn theirs (the verbal language)

I realized it takes a lot of strength for a deaf person to grow up in the hearing world and I realized Ha Na wasn't the weak girl I was trying to make her into. Sure she is immature after being pampered her whole life and she is a bit naive, but she has a big heart and she wants the people around her to be happy.

Jimin - the bipolar mess

Jimin is probably the one who stayed the most true to my initial idea of his character, he just turned out to be a little more of an emotional mess than I expected.

I wanted Jimin to be gentle and sweet, someone Ha Na would feel comfortable around in spite of her disability and someone who would support her and who would show her the world is still open even if you are disabled. All this turned out the way I wanted.

But I didn't expect Ha Na to be the one who helped Jimin more than he helped her. It turned out that Jimin needed Ha Na just as much as she needed him, and you might say that Ha Na developed as a human because she had to help and support Jimin. Being pampered her whole life, she never had to help someone or be there for someone, so when she saw what was happening to Jimin, she didn't know what to do in the beginning. But she also learned that it's okay to ask for help in those situations and she grew as a person.

Hakyeon - the hero in disguise

Oh yeah the most hated character of this book. I really didn't expect people to hate him that much but it makes sense since I initially made him out to be overly confident and proud. Not really the lovable type huh?

I planned from the beginning that he would have a crush on Ha Na, but I didn't really give him a lot of depth. It was only later in the story I realized that someone who would love the same person for so many years, always staying by her side, but never confessing his feelings to her, would have a big heart.

And then chapter 22 happened and he finally had his time to shine and I allowed him to pour out the emotions that I had been too blind to see. Hakyeon is an amazing character and my favorite of this book. He really was a hero in disguise, even from me until I realized the depth that he had. That's also the reason I decided to dedicate the epilogue to him, I think he deserved at least that much.

Jung Hwa - the dater

Jung Hwa wasn't really meant to have a big role in the story. I just wanted for Ha Na to have a girlfriend and that was Jung Hwa. I didn't plan for her and Namjoon to end up together either, but I remember in one of the early chapters, someone commented that they shipped Namjoon and Jung Hwa and I thought "hmmmm.... that would be interesting"

But really, Jung Hwa is the biggest hypocrite of this entire book. She studies psychology, but can be so oblivious to things. She gives really good advice, but is just so dumb when it comes to her own life. Going from guy to guy, searching for love that isn't there.

But Jung Hwa is probably one of the characters that remind me of myself the most. I used to be a lot like her, giving everyone good advice while screwing up my own life. I used to just date whatever guy would say he liked me, I just wanted someone to tell me I was good enough and that he liked me. It all comes down to being insecure about yourself and I think it's the same for Jung Hwa. She's insecure, and like Hakyeon, she puts up a facade by being sassy or seeming overly confident.

Namjoon - the procrastinator

Namjoon probably also stayed very true to my initial image of him. The only change is that he ended up being promoted and had to move away. I had planned him out really well. He should be overprotective like his mother, but also someone mature and structured like his father. He should be against Jimin in the beginning, but then soften up when he saw the change in Ha Na. He should be in love with Jung Hwa, but never gathering up the courage to confess.

The whole idea about him getting promoted was the only thing I hadn't planned out beforehand. I was just writing the chapter and thought "it would be nice if Namjoon came driving a car right now. But he doesn't have a car... hm..." and then the idea just came that he had been promoted. And when I got the idea, it all fit so well. Because now he was forced to make a decision, confess or forget about Jung Hwa.

So I really loved how things turned out between Namjoon and Jung Hwa. They are just a great ship in my opinion!

Eun Ji - the protective mother

Well there is very different opinions on Eun Ji, some people hate her and some love her. Some people hated her in the beginning and came to like her, but others just hated her throughout the story.

I actually planned for her to be like "the evil mother", but after writing a bit I realized I didn't want anyone to be evil. I don't like to have a villain in my books, I just like to write about realistic characters who all have flaws. 

After writing the interludes I also realized Eun Ji had been through a lot as a mother. Seeing her daughter become so sick, losing her hearing ability, then seeing people treat her badly and becoming more and more nervous. From the beginning it is shown that Eun Ji is a bit of an emotional mess and that is why Byung Ho is great since he can calm her down. But that is also why she ended up taking things to the extreme by trying to hide Ha Na from the world. 

But Eun Ji grew as a person too, she realized Ha Na wasn't as weak as she thought and she realized that if she just gave her some help, then Ha Na would turn out to be a strong and independent woman.

Ji Eun - the number 1 Hamin shipper

Lol yes she is a side character, but I just ended up loving her so much that I couldn't exclude her from this!

She is just basically all of us, shipping people and giving them the small pushes they need! And she was just sweet and a nice person. There is not much to say about her, I created her to be a side character and she ended up being my favorite side character!

Outlining the story

After writing about 4-5 chapters I started getting writers block because I ran out of ideas. And that was definitely because of the lack of outlining. So I sat down and started throwing ideas in the air. 

For this book I actually outlined the first 3 interludes before anything else. And I was blown away by the response to the interludes. I actually thought people would find them boring, but a lot of people said they really liked them.

When I outline I usually sit down and write for several hours straight, because once my inspiration starts flowing I don't want to stop, because it could ruin the story. But it is just funny because when I start writing I am really thorough, explaining the situations that will happen, but after a few hours I get tired and lazy and most of my sentences contain "somehow someway they end up going there," or "and then they talked about something and somehow this and that happened," and when I get really tired I just write "chapter about Hakyeon being jealous". 

So yeah, after writing about 10 chapters I have to go and outline again because I can't use any of the notes I made that first time.

It often happens that while I write, something unexpected happens and I have to go and change up my outline which I really hate doing because I am lazy, but it pays off in the end. Sometimes, when I try to get ideas for something, I have little conversations with myself in my notes. It is a bit weird but it helps my thoughts flow. 

If I have trouble developing my story it helps to talk about as well. In this case my husband is the one who has to listen to me just word vomit for hours. I am lucky he is so patient. And if not him then I just talk to to my writer friend, Anderoth, since he has another view on it than my husband. But the most important is that I talk to someone, get the story out of my brain and put into words. If you are trying to write a story then find someone to talk to about it. Don't be shy, just throw ideas out there and see what the reaction is. Even the weirdest idea can turn out to be something great if it is developed right.

An encouragement

If any of you wonderful people are walking around with ideas in your head, stories you want to tell, but you feel like something is holding you back, then listen to this:

Just give it a go.

Don't be afraid, don't think too much, just write! And write what you think is fun to write. Don't care about what the majority of people like to read, if you write something that you like, then it will also show in your writing.

Make sure to do your ground work too. Outline your story and give your characters depth. Think of your characters as your kids, someone close to you that you want the best for. When you write then don't think what you would do, think "what would my character do or say in this situation"

And if you ever want someone to discuss your ideas with or want to get a bit more encouraged to start writing, then feel free to contact me. I know I am an amateur but I will still be happy to help.

Writing can be healing, it is for me and I wish for more people to experience this.

Love, Annalise~