Chapter 3

"Part time life"

With window cleaner in one hand and a washing cloth in the other, Na Ri carefully wiped the large window she stood in front of, while she went over next day's classes in her head.

Her first class was English Poetry where she would get the results back on the poem she handed in before the end of last semester. Normally, the thought of getting her results back on anything concerning school, would make her break out in cold sweat, but that wasn't the thing which worried her the most about the next day. It was the thought of her last class of the day, the Shakespeare class.

She felt her heart beating faster the minute she started thinking about it. Her hands turned sweaty and it became harder for her to focus on work. She looked down at her hand which held the window cleaner and noticed how it was shaking, more, more and more and when she looked up at the window, her vision seemed blurry, all she was able to see was her own reflection in the glass. A reflection of a weak and broken girl who stared into her own dead eyes.

A loud noise echoed in the library when she dropped the window cleaner and the sudden happening seemed to bring Na Ri back to her senses. She took in a deep breath and then crouched down to pick up the window cleaner before continuing her work, not allowing herself to think about the Shakespeare class anymore. Instead she started reciting some of the chapters in her textbooks to divert her attention while she diligently finished up her work.

After turning off the lights in the library and locking every door behind her, she took a step outside in the dark night of Seoul.

It's a funny thing about darkness. When one sense is limited, suddenly every other sense gets strengthen to it's maximum. Thinking about it like that would make it seem like something quite useful, but in a situation where you're walking home from your part time job, alone, with only the streetlights to guide your way, it's the exact opposite of useful.

She was attacked by a million sounds while walking. The sound of a light bulb flickering, faint chatter from far away, a car screeching and footsteps. Footsteps that came closer, closer and closer until the sound was drowning out everything else, with an exception for the loud beating of Na Ri's heart. She walked faster, as fast as her wobbling legs could carry her, but the sound of the footsteps didn't fade away, if anything they became louder. And then, just as Na Ri thought her heart would literally jump out of her chest, she felt something brush against her leg and she jumped half a meter up in the air while screaming at her lungs full capacity.

"Woof!"

Na Ri stopped screaming and looked down where she found a big fluffy dog looking up at her. It had a light brown fur and big black eyes which stared into hers. It had a red collar and at the end of the leash, was a young lady who looked at Na Ri with both surprise and concern.

"I'm so sorry miss!" she said and pulled her dog towards her, "I didn't mean to scare you, my dog can be a little too excited to meet new people." Na Ri just looked at her with widened eyes that resembled those of a deer caught in the headlights. She wanted to say something, she wanted to tell the young lady that it was alright and that she didn't have to worry. But the insides of her stomach were twisting and turning, and her throat had tightened up to an extend where it was hard even to breathe normally.

"I'm... I'm really sorry miss, are you alright?" the lady then asked and took a step closer, but Na Ri unintentionally backed up, which made the lady stop in her tracks.

"Should I call someone for you?" she asked, "or should I follow you home? I'm out for a walk anyway." Na Ri finally gathered up enough energy for her to shake her head and she tried pulling off a smile but it turned out rather creepy instead of happy.

"I'm... fine..." Na Ri said with a hoarse voice, feeling her mouth dry as a dessert.

"Are you sure?" the lady asked and Na Ri aggressively nodded her head, signing for her to continue her walk. The lady then bowed her head slightly and gave Na Ri one last look of concern before she walked ahead of her, the dog happily sniffing to everything on it's way.

Once they were out of sight, Na Ri reached for her chest and started taking in long and deep breaths. She immediately took out her phone and pressed speed-dial "1".

"Yes this is Lee Hye Jin speaking." The minute Na Ri heard the sound of the familiar voice speaking over her phone, the feeling returned to her legs and she immediately started walking forward again.

"Mom," Na Ri said, still with a hoarse voice, "it's Na Ri."

"Oh honey it's you? I didn't even check the caller ID before answering," Hye Jin laughed and Na Ri could hear the sound of chatters in the back ground along with other noises.

"I'm sorry mom, am I disturbing?"

"Actually, right now isn't a very good time," she said with a less enthusiastic voice, "I'm at a company dinner and if I don't get off the phone soon, my boss will get annoyed."

"Of.. Of course, we'll just talk another time," Na Ri said and tried sounding understanding.

"Yes let's talk another time," Hye Jin said and sounded like she was about to end the call, but then suddenly she started talking again, "oh but how did you first day at the new semester go? Are you following along well in your classes?"

"I am doing fine, don't worry about me," Na Ri said and quickly tried changing the subject while also hoping for the conversation to continue for just a little while longer so she could make it the entire way home before ending the call, "how is Woo Jin?".

"Like usual," Hye Jin just said in an unbothered tone, "why don't you call him if you're concerned about your brother?"

"I... I call him sometimes," Na Ri lied.

"You two are a weird pair of siblings," Hye Jin just said with a sigh, "but are you really doing fine these days? I hope you're not having anymore of those... those episodes..."

"I don't!" Na Ri answered in short, "you know I'm not like that anymore. I behave well, my teachers all like me and I'm at the top of my department."

"That's good... That's all good..." Hye Jin said and Na Ri quickly spoke again before she could end the conversation.

"Will you tell dad?"

"What?" Hye Jin said and Na Ri could hear how the noise in the background became louder.

"Will you tell dad? Will you tell him I'm doing well?"

"Oh… your father," Hye Jin said in such a low and calm voice that Na Ri had trouble hearing it.

"Yes, I haven't heard from him in a long time. I was… I was thinking of giving him a call and-"

"NO!" Hye Jin yelled and surprised both herself and Na Ri as well, "no… Na Ri, sweetie, your father is very busy and you know that. I'll tell him how well you're doing and then I'm sure he'll contact you soon."

"Okay…" Na Ri said and felt a little dejected.

"But honey I really have to go now, I'll talk to you later okay? Okay bye!"

"B... bye mom..." Na Ri said but the call had already ended and Na Ri stopped and looked at her screen for a second. She let out a deep sigh before putting her phone in her pocket and then tried to think on the positive side, that at least she was only a few streets away from her apartment.

It felt like she had been on the most physically exhausting survival trip when she stepped inside her hallway and she just allowed herself to pass out right on the floor, carelessly throwing her bag on the ground next to her. She stared at her wooden ceiling while just feeling her heart slowly return to it's normal pulse.

1... 2... 3...

7... 8... 9...

17... 18... 19...

19.

That was how many cracks she could count in the ceiling in the hall. The same as yesterday, the same as tomorrow. Something never-changing, always staying the same and something you could count on. No matter how much of a roller-coaster the day had been, no matter how many weird and unintentional turns the day had taken, this was something Na Ri could count on would stay the same, stay true. When she came home after such a day and she counted those 19 cracks, it felt like there was at least some balance in the universe.

But eventually Na Ri got up from the floor and she picked up her bag which she'd thrown on the ground earlier, and then put it in it's designated place. She put her shoes neatly on the door mat and hung her jacket on the coat hanger before walked inside her apartment. She took out all the books she would be using for next day's classes, but just as she turned the first page, she heard a loud growling noise coming from her stomach and she looked at the time. It was almost 11 and she hadn't eaten since noon. She quickly moved to the fridge, for a minute forgetting about the side dishes she received earlier in the day, only to be happily reminded when she opened the door to the fridge. After taking out some of the dishes and some leftover rice, she happily ate until she felt her stomach was full and then returned to her studies.

After an indefinite amount of time with her head buried in her books, her mind only focusing on the information inside, she suddenly heard another noise. Iy wasn't her stomach this time, It sounded more like someone talking, but it seemed a bit faint, like something from a TV. She got up from her chair and started following the noise until she had her ear plastered to the wall next to her bed. The wall that lead up to Professor Kim's apartment.

It was definitely coming from a TV and normally Na Ri wouldn't care at all, but something seemed familiar about the sounds, the voices and even the background music. She almost gave up until she heard the way to recognizable jingle from her all-time favorite TV-series.

FRIENDS.

Now that she knew it was friends, it didn't take her long to determine that it was the pilot episode. She could hear the way to iconic conversation Rachel had with her father on the phone.

"Come on, Daddy, listen to me," she tells her father, "It's like all of my life everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe.' And then today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse, you know? Or, a hat?'"

Na Ri suddenly found herself giggling at the conversation that she'd heard hundredths of times but then realized how rude it was of her to stand with her ear against the wall, invading someone else's private life. She immediately stood up straight and walked away from the wall and back to her textbooks. But even with her face buried in her books, she could still hear enough of the show that it made it impossible for her to concentrate.

"Forget it!" Na Ri said and threw her hands up in the air whereafter she took her books and packed them neatly in her bag. She needed some fresh air and decided to walk outside on her small balcony. She gazed at the city and looked at the many buildings where lights were on in the windows. The night breeze felt fresh, something she hadn't been able to fully enjoy when she was walking home from work, but now she took it all in. She stood like that for a while until she heard a creaking sound and when she turned her head slightly, she saw her neighbor step out on his own balcony.

Even if there was a barrier between the two balconies, she was still able to clearly see past it and she quickly felt awkward about standing there. He hadn't noticed her yet and she decided it was better to sneak inside before he did.

"Good evening."

It's too late, Na Ri thought when she heard the gentle voice that belonged to her neighbor. She took in a deep breath and then turned around.

"Good evening Professor Kim," Na Ri said and was almost proud of herself when she did. The night breeze did something to her, it cleared her mind of all the thoughts and worries that often pestered her the entire day and she was able to breathe more freely, also making it easier for her to speak.

"You're up late, no morning class tomorrow?" Namjoon asked while taking a step closer towards the barrier so he didn't have to shout.

"I... I do have morning classes," Na Ri said, feeling nervous now that she knew he wanted to form some kind of conversation with her.

"Really? You aren't going to be tired if you go to bed this late?" Na Ri quickly shook her head in response and Namjoon approved by nodding along.

"Well I guess I'm not the right person to lecture about going to bed early since I'm still up myself," he said and Na Ri was able to see a bright smile from the light coming from his apartment. A deep and intense silence suddenly filled the air around them and even if Na Ri used all her energy to think of something to say, her mind was blank. Namjoon noticed how she looked both uncomfortable and nervous and decided to back off a bit.

"I think I'll go inside again," he said and smiled gently, "I just wanted a bit of fresh air before I went to bed. You should go to bed as well."

"Wait!" Na Ri was almost shocked when she found herself being able to shout with her weak and timid voice, but it was more than loud enough for it to grab Namjoon's attention and get him to come back.

"Yes?" he said, waiting for Na Ri to say something.

"I... I just wanted to... say..." Na Ri started, her entire body shaking so she was unable to stand firm on her two feet, "please thank your mother... for the food."

"Oh you ate it? I'm glad you liked it!" Namjoon said and smiled even brighter than before, if that was even possible, "I'll make sure to convey your thanks to her. Should I ask her to bring you some more side dishes?"

"No!" Na Ri said but quickly regretted it since she sounded somehow angry, "I mean... she should bring food for her son only..."

"Nonsense!" Namjoon said and laughed, "she brings me enough food to feed an army so I'll be happy if I have someone to share it with. It's better than me having so much food it'll grow bad before I can eat it."

"I..." Na Ri started, not knowing how to politely turn down his offer, but that didn't matter because Namjoon didn't let her think it over for long.

"Then that's a deal, whenever my mom bring food I'll give some of it to you."

"But-"

"I'll go to bed now, goodnight Song Na Ri-ssi."

"G... Goodnight," Na Ri stuttered and then watched him disappear inside his apartment.

Na Ri stood for a while with her legs frozen on the spot and her eyes plastered on Professor Kim's balcony. Even if she was standing in the same spot she'd been standing in for the last fifteen minutes, her mind was far far away from there. Every second and every word spoken between Professor Kim and her were being replayed in her mind over and over again. His words were always kind, his tone of speech was calm and the memory of his smile would still stand clear in her memory.

He left because of me, Na Ri thought to herself, I made him uncomfortable, of course I did, who wouldn't be.

A sudden western wind blew by her and sent chills down her spine, making her come back to earth, back to the balcony she was standing on.

In a matter of seconds, Na Ri rushed inside again and she was suddenly able to feel how cold her body had turned from standing outside for so long. She quickly sat down on her bed and wrapped herself in her blanket. Her thoughts would still continue to disturb her and make it impossible for her body to warm up probably because of all the tension in her muscles.

Then suddenly, as she sat on her bed wrapped in the blanket, she heard a sound coming from Professor Kim's apartment. It didn't take her long before she knew what the sound was and a smile immediately crept up on her lips.

That liar, he didn't go to bed, Na Ri thought to herself, he just wanted to watch FRIENDS again.

While laughing silently to herself, she suddenly felt her body sink into the bed and she rested her back gently against the wall. And then, with the sound of can-laughter in the background, Na Ri finally seemed to calm down, her body warmed up and her eyelids slowly sunk in as she fell asleep.

Hello everyone!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Remember to stay warm and eat healthy and take care of yourself. Stay safe.

Also, don't forget to leave a comment down below.

Love, Annalise~