Chapter 14
"Friends and family"
The smell of chemicals hit her like a wall. Better known as the smell of hospital, one that cast a shadow over her, made her body feel numb and gave her a feeling of nausea.
The same feeling she had back then.
It pulled her body, dragged her down and made her use all her strength to even stand up straight. When was the last time she felt this way?
It wasn't until she heard the regular beeping sound, she was able to put the pieces together. She looked straight ahead, at the ECG monitor that stood in front of her, the source of the sound.
The sound of life.
At least that was what she remembered a nurse told her once. As long as she heard that regular beeping, she could rest assured.
She turned her face and took notice of him. He was sitting on the bed in the plain white hospital gown, holding a manga in his hands which he carefully turned the pages on every second minute. His skin was pale, his eyes dark and his hands looked frail. She reached out and in the same second he looked up at her. Looked right into her worried eyes. Then, slowly and gently, he put down the manga, reached out and took her hand in his. It felt so small compared to hers, how was that possible, they were only minutes apart.
She suddenly felt a stinging feeling in her heart, a feeling he seemed to notice, one that made him squeeze her hand as tight as his fragile body could muster and when she lifted her eyes, she found a calm and genuine smile on his face. A smile she already knew was meant for her.
"Aren't you going to school today?"
Min Ji opened her eyes in an instant as she heard the familiar voice of her roommate and she quickly grabbed her phone which sent a shock wave through her body.
"ARG! I'm late for my morning class!" Min Ji screamed as she immediately jumped out of bed, "why didn't you wake me up?"
"Why are you blaming me?" Mi Rae, her roommate, said in an annoyed voice, "I actually tried, but you were completely out."
"CRAP! I have to hurry!" Min Ji said and started pulling out several pieces of clothing which she all threw on her bed, trying to quickly decide what to wear.
"Calm down, it's not the end of the world," Mi Rae said as she sat down and carefully drank her morning coffee.
"Just help me find my things, will you?"
"Alright alright," Mi Rae said and decided to get up and help Min Ji pack her bag and hold the door for her as she stormed out, shouting a "have a good day" as she disappeared from the dorm.
As she ran towards the University, Min Ji kept checking her watch which seemed to move a lot faster than it used to.
I can make it, I can make it, she continuously told herself while running so fast she was panting.
And she did make it.
She just barely beat Namjoon to the auditorium and quickly sneaked inside. After scanning the entire room, she saw two hands waving in the air and a smile of relief showed up on her face.
"Where were you?" Jungkook whispered when Min Ji sat down next to him.
"I slept in," Min Ji said in a shameful voice, which made it hard for Taehyung to contain his laughter.
"I didn't know you could sleep in," Taehyung said as he leaned forward so he could make eye contact with Min Ji from behind Jungkook, "oh and we found this person sitting in a corner of the auditorium all by herself, looking lost and lonely." Min Ji turned her head to where Taehyung was pointing and saw Na Ri sitting next to him, already with her face buried in her books.
Min Ji quickly looked up and when she was sure Namjoon wasn't looking her way, she got up from her seat and walked up to sit next to Na Ri. She looked a bit startled when Min Ji suddenly sat down very close to her, but she didn't look away when she locked eyes with her.
"Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't there this morning," Min Ji whispered, "I'm glad Taehyung-a and Jungkook-a asked you to sit with them." Na Ri felt a bit out of place but tried her best to send Min Ji a smile while she was still half listening to the lecture.
"Oh sorry, the class has already started," Min Ji quickly apologized, "let's talk later."
"Okay," Na Ri said and Min Ji sent her a smile before Na Ri turned her eyes back to Namjoon again.
There was something different about Na Ri these days. It started a few weeks ago, but Min Ji didn't think much about it until recently.
She wasn't tense in the same way she was in the beginning, she looked brighter and she smiled a lot more than she used to. But at other times she would suddenly get very flustered or change the subject without any reason for it.
Min Ji couldn't help but sneak a peak at Na Ri while she was intensely following the lecture. Her eyes where glued to Namjoon, not even a moment of absence, and Min Ji suddenly noticed that Na Ri wasn't taking notes anymore. Her hand was stuck mid air in a weird half finished motion. She wasn't shaking or tensed up, her body looked calm, her breathing slow and steady.
Could it be?
"Na Ri-ya," Min Ji whispered as she leaned in and drove Na Ri out of her daze, "I can't really tell if you're emerged in the lecture... or if you're emerged in the Professor." Now Na Ri looked tense and she just stared at Min Ji without blinking. Min Ji didn't budge and just leaned in closer as she said:
"So... Which one is it?"
"Shh!" A student from the row in front of them turned around and shushed Min Ji. She quickly made a discreet bow of apology before going silent. But even if she didn't talk anymore during the lecture, her mind was going crazy, and Na Ri could feel her eyes on her through the entire class.
"FINALLY!" Taehyung exclaimed when the bell rang to lunch and he leaned back in his chair before stretching out his body.
"It sounds like you had a hard time," Jungkook said while packing up his books.
"It sure was, why is school so hard?"
"I don't know."
"Na Ri-ya seemed to have a hard time focusing too," Min Ji then said with a teasing look in her eyes and Na Ri just returned one of fear, making Min Ji worry if she might've said too much.
"Really?" Taehyung said and looked at Na Ri.
"I..." Na Ri stuttered nervously, "I slept bad." Everyone looked at Na Ri but she didn't say anything else, and after a while Taehyung just shrugged his shoulder and said:
"Well I guess even a top student has off days. Now let's hurry and go get something to eat."
After walking through the halls of chaos, finally making it to the Cafeteria in one piece, they all sat down at a table and silently started eating their lunch.
"So..." Taehyung said with his mouth stuffed with food, "we're doing this musical on Saturday."
"Would you behave!" Min Ji exclaimed and lunged out for Taehyung across the table, "how many times did I tell you not to speak with food in your mouth."
"Mean woman!" Taehyung said with a pout, "But I want to eat! You tell them, Jungkook-a."
"Alright then," Jungkook said and looked at Min Ji, "as he said, our class are during a musical this Saturday. Basically we just wanted to know if you'd like to come. There's going to be some sort of party on campus after the performance."
"Wow that sounds really fun!" Min Ji said, "I'll definitely be there!"
"Great!" Jungkook said and then looked at Na Ri, "Na Ri-ssi, would you like to come?" Na Ri looked back at Jungkook with a confused look on her face. Min Ji saw her big doe eyes and called her name to get her attention.
"Na Ri-ya, you'll come... right?" she looked at Na Ri with a gentle look and luckily, Na Ri replied with a careful nod.
"Wonderful!" Min Ji exclaimed and clapped her hands together, "we should meet up before the musical and get ready together! I mean... only if you want to."
"That... I would like that," Na Ri said even though her heart was pounding like crazy in her chest.
***
While carefully wiping away every last bit of dirt from the bookshelves, Na Ri's mind was going round and round, examining the entire day bit by bit.
How she said yes to Min Ji even though she felt scared. How she had been staring at Namjoon during lecture without realizing it herself. How she had felt a hollowness in her heart when Min Ji wasn't there in the morning. A sort of loneliness she hadn't known of until now. And how she didn't even hesitate to sit next to Taehyung when he asked her to join him and Jungkook.
With her mind running in circles like that, she finished up work in no time, simply running on autopilot. Na Ri wrapped herself in her winter's coat while getting ready to lock up the library. It was only the end of October, but it still got really cold in the evening, and it had already been hours since the sun had set over the city of Seoul. Na Ri stuck her hand in her pocket and fished out her phone, wanting to check what time it was, but ending up finding a missed call from her mom.
She wondered for a while if she should call her back. It was already hours since she called her. Maybe she had gone to bed already? She shouldn't disturb her, she was a busy person.
Na Ri decided it was best to call her another day, but when she took a step out in the black night, it didn't take time much to persuade herself to hit the "call back" button on her phone.
The phone rang for quite a while and she started worrying that her mom actually had gone to bed, but just as she was about to give up, the call was answered.
"Hello sweetheart," Hye Jin's voice sang over the phone, "why are you calling me back this late?"
"I'm sorry, I was working," Na Ri said and walked down the empty streets in a fast pace, dreaming about her warm bed at home.
"You aren't overworking yourself, are you?"
"No."
"That's good. I was getting a little worried," Hye Jin said in a soft tone.
"Why?" Na Ri asked.
"Because you haven't really checked in. No calls. No texts," Hye Jin said and Na Ri gulped, "you're not still thinking about that score, are you?"
"No! Mom, I'm doing fine!" Na Ri exclaimed, a tad annoyed, but worried at the same time, "I've just been busy."
"Really?" Hye Jin said, not completely convinced, "because 95% is a good score!"
"You didn't tell dad, did you?" Na Ri said in a desperate and anxiously tone.
"Of course I didn't, you made a really big deal out of that," Hye Jin said with a slight bit of disappointment of how little her daughter trusted her.
Na Ri just let out a sigh of relief. She couldn't bear to think about how disappointed he would get if he found out. Even if he said it was a good score, she knew it would be a lie. She knew it wasn't good enough.
"I just don't get why it's such a big deal if he hears about it," Hye Jin said, still in a disappointed tone, "why can I know if he can't? Why is he so special?"
The question hit Na Ri like a wave. Why couldn't he know? Her father who she hadn't seen in person for more than 10 years. Her father who moved to another country for his job and only stayed in contact through text messaged.
She remembered how her friends had reacted when she talked about her father. She never viewed her family situation as anything but normal. Was it abnormal?
"Mom...?" Na Ri asked, a bit hesitant.
"Yes?"
"Why does dad never visit us? Does he not love us anymore? Is our family weird?" Once the first question came it was quickly followed by another and Hye Jin had a hard time keeping up.
"Wait, take it slow, Na Ri!" Hye Jin said and Na Ri stopped talking, "why would you say those things?"
"I just... I miss dad." Na Ri stayed silent for a while and so did Hye Jin. Na Ri just walked ahead and listened to her mom's breathing through the phone. She knew she wouldn't say anything. She knew she would avoid the subject, just like she always did.
"Are you lonely in Seoul?" Hye Jin then said, "should I come visit you? It's been a while and I was thinking about going to Seoul. I could stop by this Saturday."
"I I'm not free on Saturday."
"Oh, do you have work?"
"No, I'm going to see a musical with my friends."
"What? Did you just say you're going with 'friends'?" Hye Jin asked, "you're not just talking about that TV show right?"
"No mom," Na Ri said with a sigh, "I'm going with a classmate. Her name is Lee Min Ji-ssi."
"That's wonderful! I'm so happy to hear that!"
"It's not a big deal," Na Ri said to tone down the situation. She wouldn't want her mom getting too curious about Min Ji or she'd suddenly show up at her doorstep and demand to meet her.
"But it is a big deal! My Na Ri going to see a musical with a friend!"
"It's just a school musical. Some of my friends from the department of Performing Arts are in the musical so they asked us to come."
"You have friends in another department as well? Why haven't you mentioned this to me before?"
"It didn't come up."
"Well, I'm just glad to know you're not all by yourself anymore," Hye Jin said feeling reassured, "tell me, how is that girl. Did you say her name was Min Ji?"
"Yes Min Ji-ssi," Na Ri said and when she sensed her mom wouldn't let her go without a proper explanation, Na Ri started telling everything she knew about Min Ji, how they met and how they ended up in a group project together. When she finally finished talking, she was already inside her apartment and starting to feel her body warm up.
"She sounds like a very sweet person," Hye Jin said.
"She is," Na Ri replied.
"I would like to meet her one day." Na Ri let out a sigh, but at the same time there was a smile on her lips, one she didn't really know how to explain.
"I have to go now, mom. Bye."
"Okay, we'll talk later. Bye."
Na Ri put her phone on her nightstand and laid down on the bed. She could hear the tiny paws walking across the floor, getting closer and closer to the bed. When the sound stopped, Na Ri patted a few times on the spot next to her and a few second later, the cat jumped up on the bed and curled up next to her.
While staring at the ceiling, thinking about her mom, about Min Ji and the musical, even thinking about Namjoon, Na Ri kept wondering:
Is this really okay?
Hello everyone!
So we jumped a few weeks ahead and got a feeling of how Na Ri is doing. It seems she's having all sorts of emotions, but doesn't really know how to handle them. But besides that, things seem to be going smoothly for her, right?
What do you think? Let me know in the comments down below.
Take care of yourself and stay safe.
Love, Annalise~