Chapter 35

"I am fine"

"I am sorry, but I think I will be home really late," spoke Namjoon over the phone, "I have to finish up a lot of paperwork because I am leaving next week."

"I is okay," replied Eun Ji, holding the phone with one hand and using the other to stir the gravy, "just don't overwork yourself."

"I won't. Is dad home yet?"

"No your father has to stay late as well," said Eun Ji with a sigh.

"I guess it is just you and Ha Na then," said Namjoon.

"Yes if she ever comes home!" said Eun Ji in a dramatic tone.

"She is not home yet?"

"No, she said she would go visit Jimin after work," responded Eun Ji in a somewhat carefree tone, "I am actually not even sure if she is coming home for dinner or if she will eat with Jimin."

"I hope she comes home," said Namjoon, "I don't want you to eat all alone."

"I am an adult Namjoon, I am more than capable of eating alone," scolded Eun Ji.

"Alright alright," said Namjoon while laughing, "I will get back to work now."

"Okay, bye."

After Eun Ji turned off her phone, she put it on the table so she had both her hands free to cook dinner. She looked at the full pot and sighed, so much food with no people to eat it.

But just as that thought crossed her mind, she heard the sound of a door open and she ran to the hall in joy that someone was home.

"You are home, Ha Na," signed Eun Ji when she saw Ha Na in the door, "how did things go with Jimin?"

Ha Na looked at her mom who showed such a carefree smile and patiently waited for a reply from her. She was wearing her flower printed apron and she smelled of food. Ha Na sent her mom a smile, the best she could muster and she lifted her arms, about to start signing, when suddenly, Eun Ji looked at her with suspicion and worry.

"Sweetheart," said Eun Ji while looking into Ha Na's eyes, "is everything alright?"

Like a harsh and brutal wind, Eun Ji's words hit Ha Na and blew away her facade, letting herself break down in front of her mother, unable to formulate a sentence or even stand firm on her feet. She fell to the floor while crying uncontrollably, hiding her face in her hands, while Eun Ji's eyes filled with horror.

"What is wrong?" said Eun Ji even though Ha Na had no opportunity to see her mouth movements while covering up her face. Frightened and in a need of some answers, Eun Ji forced Ha Na's hands away from her face, ready to make her talk, but when she saw the face of her broken daughter, her own expression softened and she immediately swung her arms around Ha Na, holding her tight to her body so they could both feel each others fast and consistent heartbeats.

For the first time in years, Ha Na just let herself be embraced by her mother's strong arms and she clutched her like a little child seeking love and comfort. She cried her eyes out without feeling the least bit embarrassed or nervous of her mother's reaction. She was unable to think, her emotions had taken over and lead her body to action. Time slowly went by without neither of them noticing how long they had been sitting on the ground in each other's arms.

When Eun Ji felt Ha Na's heartbeat calm down and noticed that her heavy crying had turned into small sniffles, she moved away a bit and used her thumb to wipe away the remaining tears on her face.

"Hey, look at me," said Eun Ji and when Ha Na noticed her lips moving, she looked up and locked eyes with her, "why don't we go to the living room so we can talk for a bit?" Ha Na replied with a nod and then got up along with Eun Ji.

"But mom?" asked Ha Na and Eun Ji looked at her with a smile.

"Yes dear?"

"Weren't you cooking?" The smile quickly faded away and Eun Ji stormed into the kitchen, while Ha Na followed right behind her. Moving through the smoke, she followed her mom to the stove where she quickly turned it off and removed all the pots from the hotplate. She then turned the fan on to max and opened all the windows. Once the smoke had disappeared and Ha Na was finally able to spot her mom again, Eun Ji looked at her and started laughing.

"Why don't we order something tonight?"

After Eun Ji had called the local pizzeria to order a large pizza to share, she went over to the couch where Ha Na was sitting with her arms wrapped around her legs, curled into a tiny ball on the couch.

"Ha Na," signed Eun Ji when Ha Na finally looked at her after she had sat down next to her, "please tell me what happened."

Even though Ha Na was greatly fearing the reaction she would get from her mom and even though every fiber in her body told her to come up with some sort of lie, tell her it was nothing or basically do anything to change the subject, her mind kept pushing her to tell the truth. Her heart was aching, her shoulders were heavy with the burden she had to bear and she wanted to share it with someone. 

And then she did. 

She spilled everything, right from the beginning when Jimin started acting distant, the incident at his company and about today when he had passed out in his practice room. Eun Ji didn't interrupt her at any point but just listened without showing any signs of emotions in her face, just taking in the information given to her. Once Ha Na finished talking, she looked at her mom with worried eyes and Eun Ji moved a bit in her seat.

"Thank you for telling me this," said Eun Ji and Ha Na noticed a hint of happiness in the midst of all the sadness on her face, "can I ask you something?"

"Yes," Ha Na replied a bit nervous.

"Do you love this boy?" Ha Na was surprised by the question given to her and she nervously fidgeting with her hands before replying.

"I do," signed she, "I love him."

"That is what I thought," signed Eun Ji with a smile, "I want to tell you to break up with him and never contact him again. The way he treated you can't be justified in any way, not even if he is struggling at the moment. As a mother I want to protect my children from harm, that is what I have always tried to do, but even if I tell you to break things off with him, you won't do that, will you?" Ha Na slowly shook her head in response.

"The reason I know that, is because you aren't my little girl anymore. After getting to know Jimin I have seen how you have changed. You are slowly becoming an adult who wants to find her own path in life and even if that makes me scared of what will happen to you when you move out into the world, it also makes you proud. But even if you are already an adult with her own mindset and her own path in life, that doesn't mean you won't need to ask for help once in a while. That is what parents are for. So why don't you try and ask for help? The outcome might surprise you." 

Ha Na looked at her mom who hadn't diverted her eyes for even one second. After taking in a deep breath Ha Na sat up straight and looked at her mom with pleading eyes.

"Please help me, mom."

***

The darkness surrounding Jimin grew thicker for every hour that passed in the practice room and he didn't even bother to look at the time. He wasn't going home tonight, he couldn't. He knew his mind wouldn't leave him alone if he first laid down on his bed and allowed his body to relax. If he started thinking, he knew he would only think of Ha Na and if he thought about Ha Na, he wouldn't be able to stay still. His conscience was already bugging him and the only way he could push away the thoughts that scared him so much, was by practicing even harder, to the extend where his body was bruised black and blue from falling down again and again, his body too tired to do the jumps right.

When the door opened, he didn't even hear it and when someone walked up to him, he didn't notice that either. Only when someone put their hand on his shoulder and a shock wave went through his body, making him stumble and fall again, did he look up and notice the person towering over him.

At first his eyes filled with fear and horror, but he forced himself to hide away those feelings and put on the best smile he had in him.

"Dad," said Jimin in between his heaves, "what... what are you doing here? It is late and..."

"Jimin, what are you doing to yourself?" said Ha Jun with disappointment in his eyes.

"Wh... what do you mean?" said Jimin while getting up from the floor.

"Why didn't you tell me," said Ha Jun, "Why did you lie?"

"I don't know what you are talking about?" said Jimin, his voice more firm now that his heartbeat had slowed down, "and you still haven't told me why you are here."

Still not answering Jimin's question, Ha Jun just turned around and walked to the door, which he opened and let the person who stood outside, come in.

"Noona," said Jimin when he saw Ha Na slowly walking inside the practice room, her eyes looking at the floor while she followed along with Ha Jun.

"If she said something weird about me passing out then..."

"She didn't have to say anything," Ha Jun interrupted Jimin, "even I had been feeling suspicious about your behavior lately and seeing you tonight, my worry has been confirmed."

"Why do people keep worrying about me, I am not a child anymore!" yelled Jimin and Ha Na felt her eyes get watery.

"It is not because we think you are a child," started Ha Na signing while Jimin followed closely, "it is because we worry about the people we love."

"But there is no reason to worry, I am fine!"

"Is this what you call fine?" yelled Ha Jun and grabbed Jimin to turn him around so he was facing the large mirror, "look at yourself! You have one foot in the grave already. If you keep pushing yourself, your body won't be able to keep up. It is shutting down already but you won't let it. Just take a break!"

"But..." said Jimin as he looked at himself with honest eyes for the first time in months, "I can't take a break."

"What if Kyung Hee had seen you like this?"

"Don't bring mom into this!"

"Why not? Even if she is not here anymore, does that mean you don't want to make her proud? She loved you so much and she always said you would be an amazing dancer. But do you think this is what she wanted? If she saw you like that... it would have broken her."

"STOP!" yelled Jimin and felt the tears pressing on, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"NO!" yelled Ha Jun back, "You are not allowed to push us away whenever you want to. I won't allow it." Jimin was about to run away, but Ha Jun caught him before he got that far and he forced him into his arms, not letting go no matter how much Jimin would yell and struggle while Ha Na simply watched from the side as the tears fell down her cheeks.

"LET ME GO!" yelled Jimin, the tears already flowing, "let me go... please..." Little by little, Jimin stopped struggling and just allowed his father to hold him while also allowing himself to cry those tears that had been begging to flow freely for such a long time.

"Jimin," said Ha Jun while holding Jimin in his arms, "let us go home."

Hello everyone!

I don't know why but I felt really emotional proofreading this chapter, maybe it is because I have been going through some hardships myself and I really understand how it feels to finally let go and allow yourself to just cry. 

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, we are nearing the end of the story so I hope you will be here till the end. Please leave a comment down below and let me know your thoughts!

Take good care of yourself and stay safe.

Love, Annalise~